
What No One Tells You About the First 48 Hours After Sudden Loss
The first 48 hours after losing my beautiful son were a blur of shattered reality—a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
I could barely brush my teeth. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t face a single person without crumbling. The tears didn’t stop; they were as constant as my breath, ragged and involuntary.
Leaving the hospital without my baby was the most devastating thing I’ve ever had to do. Walking away from him, from the room where his little body lay, felt like tearing my soul in half. The nurses handed me a box—his tiny belongings, his handprints pressed into clay—and I remember staring at it, confused. How could this be all I had left, it's his first birthday in 5 days?
That night, the paediatric consultant and police came to our home. They asked questions, their voices gentle but clinical, ruling out foul-play. I sat there, numb, while inside I screamed: This isn’t real. This can’t be real.
I’m normally organised. I’m the person who plans, who copes. But in those hours and days, I couldn’t string a sentence together. My thoughts were shards of glass—sharp, scattered, cutting me each time I tried to piece them into sense.
And the flashbacks, constant & intense. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived it: the panic, the helplessness, the moment my world ended. With each one, I begged—Please, let this be a mistake. Let him be alive. Let me wake up.
But I didn’t wake up.
This is what no one tells you: in those first 48 hours, you don’t survive grief. You don’t process it. You just exist in the wreckage, barely breathing, while the universe ruthlessly moves on without you.
And yet—you are still here. However broken, however lost. However impossible it feels to take the next breath.
You are not alone.
Note to readers:
If you’re in these raw, early hours, I see you. There’s no “right” way to get through this. But if you need a hand to hold, even virtually, my Sudden Loss Emergency Checklist has gentle prompts for when the world feels too heavy.
💛 Salina
---
Frequently Asked Questions About the First 48 Hours of Sudden Loss